Does My Child Get a Say in Custody Decisions?: Understanding Children's Preferences in Washington State Custody Cases

One of the most common questions in family law is, "Can my child choose which parent they want to live with?" In Washington State, the answer is nuanced. While the child's preference is considered, it is not the sole determining factor in custody decisions between parents. Washington courts prioritize the child's best interests. This blog will explore how children’s preferences are factored into custody cases in Washington State.

The Legal Framework: Balancing a Child's Wishes with Their Best Interests

Washington courts prioritize the child's best interests when making custody decisions (also known as parenting plans). Several factors are evaluated to determine what is in a child’s best interests.

While the court may consider the child's wishes, especially as they get older and more mature, it is not the only factor.

Factors Influencing the Weight Given to a Child's Preference

The court considers several factors to determine the weight given to a child's preference:

• Age and Maturity: Older children's preferences are generally given more weight.

• Reasons for Preference: The court assesses whether the child's reasons are sound and not influenced by manipulation or pressure.

• Child's Understanding: The court considers whether the child understands the implications of their preference.

• Other Factors: The court balances the child's preference with other factors like the parents' ability to provide care, stability, and a healthy environment.

  
  

How a Child's Preference is Expressed

A child's preference can be expressed in couple of ways:

• Through a Guardian ad Litem (GAL): A GAL is a court-appointed neutral party who investigates the situation and represents the child's best interests. The GAL may talk to the child and report their wishes to the court.

• Through a Custody Evaluator: A custody evaluator may be appointed to assess the family dynamics and interview the child.

  
  

Factors That Can Influence a Child's Expressed Preference

It's important to understand that a child's preference can be influenced by various factors:

• Parental Alienation: If a parent is actively trying to turn the child against the other parent, the court may view the child's preference with skepticism.

• Manipulation or Pressure: If a child's preference seems influenced by one parent, the court may give it less weight.

• Developmental Stage: Younger children may be more easily influenced or may not fully understand the implications of their preference.

  
  

Preparing Your Child for a Custody Hearing or Interview

If your child will be speaking with a GAL, or custody evaluator, low pressure preparation is key:

• Honesty and Age-Appropriateness: Explain the process in an age-appropriate way, emphasizing that their thoughts and feelings are important. 

• Reassurance: Reassure the child that they are not responsible for the outcome and that both parents love them.

• Avoid Pressure: Do not pressure the child to express a certain preference or make them feel like they have to choose sides.

• Professional Guidance: If the child is anxious or struggling, consider seeking professional help from a therapist or counselor.

  
  

Important Considerations for Parents

• No Guarantee: Even if a child expresses a strong preference, the court is not obligated to follow it. The ultimate decision is based on the child's best interests.

• Focus on the Child's Well-being: The priority should always be on protecting the child's physical and emotional well-being, not on winning a custody battle.

• Co-Parenting: Encourage family and friends to speak respectfully about your co-parent in front of the children. 

Navigating child custody matters can be emotionally challenging. Seeking guidance from a family law attorney can help you understand your rights and responsibilities while ensuring your child's voice is heard in the process. Contact us today for a consultation.