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The Dos and Don’ts of Co-Parenting After Divorce

Writer's picture: Mackenzie SorichMackenzie Sorich

Single dad parenting his children

Divorce and Co-Parenting in Washington State

Divorce is challenging for everyone involved, but it can be especially tough on children. Co-parenting offers an opportunity for divorced parents to work together to provide a supportive environment for their children, despite no longer being a couple. However, co-parenting requires patience, effort, and a commitment to doing what’s best for your kids. In this post, we’ll walk through some key dos and don’ts of co-parenting after divorce to help you navigate this journey effectively.


The Do's & Don'ts of Co-Parenting After Divorce

Do: Prioritize Your Child’s Well-Being during Divorce

The most important part of co-parenting is focusing on the needs of your child. This might seem obvious, but it’s easy to get caught up in personal conflicts or emotional baggage from the divorce. Keep in mind that your child’s well-being should always come first. This means considering their emotional, physical, and mental health when making decisions. Whether it’s choosing schools, discussing extracurricular activities, or making holiday arrangements, ask yourself: “Is this in my child’s best interest?”


Don’t: Use Your Children as Messengers

One of the most harmful things you can do as a co-parent is to put your children in the middle of communication between you and your ex. Using your kids as messengers can increase their stress and make them feel like they have to pick sides. Instead, communicate directly with your co-parent about important matters. If direct communication is difficult or contentious, consider using a co-parenting app that allows you to exchange schedules, updates, and other information without the risk of miscommunication.


Do: Establish Consistent Rules and Routines for Children Following Divorce

Children, especially after a divorce, thrive on consistency. Moving between two households can be disruptive, so it’s important to establish similar rules and routines in both homes. This includes having consistent mealtimes, bedtimes, homework rules, and discipline methods. Consistency helps children feel safe and secure, and it reinforces that both parents are working together to create a stable environment for them. Discuss with your co-parent how you can align your rules and routines to make transitions smoother for your child.


Don’t: Badmouth Your Ex in Front of Your Kids After Divorce

Regardless of how you feel about your ex-spouse, it’s crucial to keep those negative feelings away from your children. Speaking poorly about the other parent can create feelings of confusion, guilt, and anxiety for your child. They may feel like they need to choose sides, which can damage their relationship with one or both parents. They may also internalize the negativity as young children see parents as a part of themselves. If you need to vent about your ex, do it with a trusted friend, therapist, or support group—never in front of your kids.


Do: Keep Communication Neutral and Respectful

Communication is key to successful co-parenting. Even if you and your ex have a strained relationship, it’s essential to maintain neutral and respectful communication when it comes to your children. Be clear about expectations, schedules, and responsibilities, and try to resolve conflicts calmly. If conversations tend to escalate into arguments, consider establishing communication guidelines or using a neutral third party to mediate discussions.


Don’t: Let Conflicts Get in the Way of Co-Parenting

It’s normal to have disagreements with your ex, but if these conflicts affect your ability to co-parent effectively then it is time to seek help. If you find yourself in constant arguments, it may be helpful to set boundaries by limiting communication channels, seeking mediation or legal help to resolve issues. Remember that co-parenting is about your child’s well-being, not about continuing unresolved disputes from your marriage. Stay focused on your shared goal of raising happy, healthy children.


We’re Here to Help

Co-parenting after divorce is no easy task, but with effort and a commitment to putting your child’s needs first, it can be done successfully. By following these dos and don’ts, you can create a co-parenting relationship that benefits your child and makes the post-divorce transition smoother for everyone involved. 

Often, navigating co-parenting challenges can be a struggle, especially if your ex does not wish to comply with agreements you have made. 


Parenting Plans in King County and Snohomish County

If you’re struggling with co-parenting challenges, don’t hesitate to seek help from a family law professional who can provide guidance tailored to your situation. Often, a parenting plan developed by an attorney is needed to help mitigate these difficulties, especially if your ex is not willing to put your child’s best interests at the forefront. 


Starting Divorce Proceedings in Washington?

If you are planning on initiating a divorce, our Family Law team is here to help. Our family law attorneys strive to represent our client’s goals and interests throughout the divorce process.


If you need assistance, call us at 206-703-0764 or contact us online to schedule a consultation.

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